


Inseparable

by greenfairy13



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humor, I'm not serious, It's supposed to be funny, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 19:50:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1791091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenfairy13/pseuds/greenfairy13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten II, Eleven and Rose never got separated - at least not here ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inseparable

The Eleventh Doctor sits bolt upright in bed, sweat is dripping from his forehead, his double hearts beating a frantic staccato beat.

 

Rose, a moment ago fast asleep, sprawled across the Doctor's and the human Doctor's chests, rubs her eyes and lets out a groan. “Bad dream?” she mumbles, rubbing her eyes.

 

“Terrible!” he exclaims, waking the meta-crisis Doctor in the process.

 

“Care to share with the class?” the spiky-haired man asks, turning towards his counterpart.

 

“I got married!” he almost shouts into the dark bedroom and Rose rolls her eyes and huffs.

 

“Too late for that, love. We are married on 56 planets,” she sing-songs. “As far as I remember, you enjoyed most of the festivities.”

 

“57. And I'm not talking about _our_ marriages,” he tells her, scooting his hand nervously through his floppy hair.

 

“56\. Poosh isn't a planet,” the meta-crisis Doctor corrects him irritatedly. “And to be precise: _we_ are married to Rose on 104 planets and 14 moons. Come to think about it: we should really marry on Alberon. Best banana-cake in the universe,” he adds enthusiastically. 

 

“I wasn't dreaming about Rose! Her name was R-”, the green-eyed Doctor starts but Rose interrupts him by tossing a pillow into his face.

 

“If you want to talk about Reinette in our bedroom, I'll make you regenerate!” Even in the darkness he can see the infuriated glare she's directing at him.

 

“That was more _his_ fault than mine!” he whines, pointing an accusing finger at the meta-crisis.

 

“Oi!” he huffs and scoots against the head-board. “That was no ones fault! I was influenced by Stevonium! Nasty stuff – not even Time Lords can resist these stupid pollen.”

 

“Now, where was I? I got married to a woman called River...”

 

“Do the names of all your crushes start with “R”?” Rose asks cheekily.

 

“Hmmm....welllll....I have to admit: there's a pattern: Romana, Reinette, River...feels like I've forgotten someone....suppose she isn't that important...”

 

“Oi! Watch it spaceman!” the meta-crisis Doctor interrupts his counterpart in a perfect imitation of Donna's voice. “I don't fancy sleeping in the console-room for one week linear Earth-time.”

 

“Then let me finish retelling my dream – both of you!” the Doctor demands impatiently, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

 

“So. I was getting married to a woman called River. She used to call me sweetie and and always carried around a laser-blaster and...”

 

“Why would we marry a woman who carries a gun?” the meta-crisis asks with an astonished frown.

 

“There was an aborted time-line and it was either that or the destruction of the entire multiverse.”

 

At that Rose snorts. “You're so full of yourself. Marrying you is the key to save the multiverse.”

 

“A marriage is rather nice...big display of trust, devotion, love...”

 

“Yeah...what's crushing through the walls of several universes compared to putting a ring on someone's finger?” she pouts.

 

“Don't forget I burnt up a sun for you,” the skinny Doctor adds quickly.

 

“But she also tried to kill me – several times! And at the end, she left me and called me a psychopath,” the Doctor throws in quickly before forgetting the details. “Ah! And we were really married – Gallifreyan-style.”

 

Rose gapes at him and the meta-crisis mirrors her stunned expression. “Did you turn _domestic_ in your dream?!” he asks.

 

“ _Everyone_ was domestic in that dream! My companions were a married couple, Donna lost her memory during the meta-crisis and married some, some...I had to give her a lottery ticket to keep her afloat... and there was a married couple, a lizard and a human woman and...”

 

“Doctor! Breathe,” Rose chides him decisively and the meta-crisis Doctor rolls his eyes. “To sum it up: your dream self imagines every woman with 1.4 children and a picket-fence?”

 

“Seems like,” he responds lamely while the brown-eyed Doctor rolls over and grabs his sonic. “I never said the dream wasn't utterly ridiculous,” he carries on, flapping his hands about rather helplessly. “Here's the worst part: you two weren't there.” His voice is now thick from emotion and as he swallows down the lump in his throat, Rose squeezes his hand gently. “I left you two behind at Bad Wolf Bay, so you two could live a normal human life and went loopy. Tried to alter a fixed point in time and a woman had to commit suicide and...”

 

“That's enough!” the meta-crisis Doctor stops his rambling and starts scanning his counterpart “and thank you very much for dropping us off in Norway!” The part human Time Lord is a split second from getting into full oncoming storm mode.

 

“But is was just a dream!”

 

“ _Every_ bloody time! We can deal with Daleks, Cybermen, the Master but every time you meet the Moffat, you go down some stupid time-line and an entire army of writers is necessary to set things straight!” The freckled Doctor jumps out of the bed and starts pacing the room while tugging his untamable hair. As he's only wearing boxer-briefs, he can't shove his hands into his pockets like he wants to.

 

“You mean?” the floppy-haired Doctor gapes rather dumbfounded at his human incarnation.

 

“I mean you received the echo of some parallel time-line!” he yells outraged.

 

“What now?” Rose asks. “He won't stop trying to separate us.”

 

“Don't worry,” the meta-crisis flashes her a toothy grin, his previous outburst forgotten. “I think we're safe _here_.”


End file.
